Friday, October 27, 2006

Sixth Sense

And finally – this thing about the origin of thought – of words and ideas and emotions and instincts. Where is that? What is it? Where does it start? And why?

There is -- before the beginning of thought – an energy that allows its birth. It is the substratum in which thought emerges from stillness. This thought, though, is buried in my memory bank. So, obviously there is some sort of catalyst that makes this thought take shape from a dormant karmic seed into the force behind a full blown ‘event’ made up of thinking, feeling, acting and reacting.

I wonder then - what if I had a sixth sense – one that could easily observe how this thing emerges from nothingness into ‘thingness’. If I could feel the movement of this energy, through its whole neurological, chemical and physiological journey that happens within me. What if I could experience this evolution of thought which comes into play as a result of a mixed bag of external stimuli and internal chemicals that trigger something in my body which then travels up to my brain and becomes a full blown – PRODUCTION.

Would we then, if we did have this sixth sense not make such a big deal about thoughts and emotions and not allow them to torture, trouble, excite or delight us? Because we could see -- as easily as I can see the impact of heat or cold on my skin, sweet or sugar on my tongue, light and darkness on my eyes, cacophony or melody on my ears and fragrance or malodor on my nose – the impact of heavy or light thoughts and emotions on my brain. When then, the brain indeed becomes the Sixth Sense… an organ which would allow me to sense the world both inside and outside me and not make every thing, event or happening the be all and end all of my life.

I could, I would, then, simply allow these thoughts and emotions to happen – observing them, enjoying them, deflecting them or avoiding them. But not feeling like I have to master them, process them, analyze them, control them.

Perhaps that is real freedom.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Total Revolution

This integral approach towards living life is what I see now as the key to total happiness. What is total happiness then? Is it a type of fulfillment that only comes about when one is completely stimulated, internally and externally? Is it the process by which every moment of every day is full and fulfilled because it is being experienced to the maximum? Is that, and then the balance between mind, body, heart and spirit, what make life a holistic whole?

What is the reason that we want such complete happiness? And what is the human conditioning that repeatedly makes access to such total happiness both desirable and fearful?

This equal fascination with self sabotage and self-improvement – both equally powerful and appealing at one level, and ridiculous and distasteful at another. This struggle and need to be the Perfect Man.

What is a Perfect Man? I’m reading Arrow of a Blue Skinned God these days – the modern rendition of Ramayana – as seen by a westerner traveling through India. Was Rama really the perfect man then? Because of his courage, fortitude, sensitivity, equanimity, honesty, compassion and dynamism? What would it take to really embody these qualities in today’s world? Is such an outlook to life really possible anymore? Or are we doomed to a life of self-absorption and angst? I don’t know. I can’t really tell anymore.

But what if it was possible to be this perfect man with minimum effort and maximum effect? What if I could, indeed, have all of it but not need any of it? And be this person who has the courage and equanimity and fortitude to have it all and take it all but not need any of it – at all? Is this the meaning of perfection then? Is this the way to be when all that I see and all that I do and all that I am is simply an effortless way of engaging Life? Engaging everyone and everything in life. Without need and want nor hope nor yearning. Simply in, and as, an effortless whole.

That then, perhaps, is total integration – when there is absolutely no need to be different and unique and separate. When my individuality comes not from the capriciousness of my Ego, but because it is a unique expression of the divine unifying Spirit.

Can I do that? Can I be that? Will I ever live like that?