Saturday, October 14, 2006

A Life Less Ordinary

“The human race will first experience a period of intense introspection.”
“Because when people begin to receive clear intuitions of who they really are and what they’re supposed to be doing, they very often discover they are in the wrong job and they have to do another type of work to continue to grow.”

This seems to be my time for intense introspection. For honestly examining this feeling of ‘lack’, when everything in my life seems to be in even flow. There is no drama, minimal conflict, manageable stress and stable relationships. Yes there’ll always be the expected ups and downs and lows and highs that vary in intensity and importance from day to day. But that’s all part of the human experience.

Truth be told, I think my mind is feeling a bit cheated out of not having any juicy problem to chew on and make a federal case out of. Every problem seems to be a regurgitation of a previous one and the ones that consistently stir up negative energy are the ones I am most consciously aware of and can process and put into perspective – frustrations around a scratchy throat and persistent cough; irritation around a blowout with a friend; thwarted expectations of romantic bliss….I can see these as egoistic plays of the mind to garner attention and gather sympathy from myself and the world.

So, yes, I can see through the mind games and while I still indulge a few of them…they are steadily losing there previously vice like grip on my existence. Of course I could walk down the street and get hit by a scooter (not a bus I hope…that would surely kill me)…or get horrible news about a loved one or find out that the scratchy throat is really some form of a heinous illness…and all this perspective may go out the window and all the poor me, pity me, why me voices will start shrilling in my head.

But at this moment…I feel that this is a good place to be. To stay in the present and to observe that the lack is perhaps because I have not found my true purpose in life. A profession or a project where I can use my skills and creativity and drive and vision to do what I really am supposed to be doing.

To first be the change that I wish to see in the world, and then change the world by being who I am, and doing what I need to do, in it.