Friday, April 14, 2006

Spring Fever

Where do you go when your heart sings?
How do you feel when this feeling hits you
Again and again in soft, wispy spells
Which drench you in smiles and shimmering swells
And you did'nt even know that it was spring.

I’m surprised, is what I am, to be here in this life this way and this late and not know where to go from here. It’s a puzzle that seems to want to solve itself in its own time never before never later. Its’s the way to feel connected and whole and happy within myself. And then seeing that there is more that distracts me from my path then I ever thought was possible.

Why do I feel this constant shimmering of up and down, ebb and flow, negative and positive beliefs? Why do I feel that this is the way to go and then suddenly get stuck in a rut? Perseparation is what the psychiatrist had mentioned today on the witness stand. Which is the other thing I want to talk about… this trial.

This thing that has suddenly dropped into my life and is bound to teach me something about it? I’m there to listen completely and wholly, every aspect of evidence put in front of me before I make any decisions, one way or the other. It’s bound to be exciting, it’s bound to be stressful. It’ll never be simple.

It never is simple. Because then it is not this illusion called Life.