Friday, August 19, 2005

Perfect Moment

It happens when you let it. It happens when you least expect it. It happens when you let go. It happens when you find stillness. It happens when it happens. It is an eternal phenomenon that will always unfold in the most natural way in the most universal way and in the most obvious yet elusive way. It happens when I drop the expectation of anything to happen. It happens when I realize that nothing is really supposed to happen. That all that is happening is happening because it was meant to happen in this certain way and this way alone. There are no possible outcomes of this happening. This is the begin, middle and end of this story. This moment is it. There is nothing else. Every other moment happens in its own eternity. Nothing is waiting for anything else to happen. Everything happens in a moment without past or future. And I can only experience it if I live in this moment alone.

So, what next? Where do I go with such realization? Is this yet another abstract mantra that I cannot begin to make much more sense of? Is this yet another way of losing myself to the reality of today? What exactly is the reality of today? When one gets down to brass tacks – how will I really explain my life and my choices? How will I be able to explain that I spent hours and hours of my days thinking about these big questions, in perfect contentment, in smug satisfaction, in intrepid interrogation and in despairing despondence? That I was always asking that question, sometimes not even realizing that I was and at other times being absolutely certain that I knew the answer. That I waited for a glimpse, a sign, a state, a glance, a moment or a happening that would tell me in a gorgeous explosion of light, sound, heat, wetness and beauty that “Man! This is it!” the moment that I’ve been waiting for – that moment of self discovery, actualization, realization and spiritualization is happening to me Now! That there is nothing else that I can see, be, do, think, or act upon that will make this any more obvious, clear or distinct.

Well, then, what can I really say that will make this any more obvious and why then should I really be doing it? If this is it and if I sense that this is it then why wait for another moment to make my life more complete? If this is the only moment that my life can unfold in for me to actually experience it then why should I despair, fear, hope or wish for something else? Another moment in time? Not really sure why, but what about dreams and memories? What about living in the grand world of fantasy, imagination, projection and reminiscence? That richly textured, often overstated, embellished, accentuated and amplified past or future? The thrill of living in the moment when one realizes that the mind is capable of such flights of fantasy is in itself a gift that humankind has been bestowed with and that should never be taken for granted or trivialized. This then is the way to another eternal happiness, isn’t it? Why should I despair if I lose myself in memory or fantasy? Why should I feel that divinity can only be experienced outside of the mind states? And even if it can – well, if I cannot grasp it in the time-space continuum bestowed to me in this life, then what was the point of being given the chance to be a human being? Why despair and why judge?

What does this mean then? It really means that every state for every being at every time and every spatial point is perfect. And there is no way that I can change it to add or take away from its perfection. Because whatever the net result of that action will be, will still be perfect. Adding or subtracting from it is as absurd as saying that drinking water from a water fountain or from a glass will change the end state of drinking water. I am still drinking water. I am just drinking in different ways. (bad analogy – but I know what I mean!)

You... who, across a continent, perhaps swim languidly but gracefully in a cool, shimmering pond, or sieve the earth through sensitive fingers in the sun drenched garden of a lush green country home, or simply lie there, thinking of someone across a continent...thank you for reminding me how perfect a moment can be.... X