Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Shiva Shakti

“The mystical energy that we can tap as an inner source is both male and female. The integration process takes some time. If we connect prematurely with a human source for our female or male energy, we block the universal supply.”

Are aspects of energy really male or female and if so what does that mean? How did we all, as a collective, agree on some aspects of life and consequently energy being masculine and others feminine? There has to be an unconscious (or conscious) agreement that not only abstract forms, but gross forms too, often have masculine and feminine qualities.

My car – she’s a beauty; my guitar is one dark & brooding guy, even a house can have masculine and feminine connotations for people. All aspects of nature – food, trees, flowers, earth, wind, fire have masculine and feminine forms and energy. The Shiva-Shakti concept in Indian spirituality – where the supreme spirit is a beautiful fusion of Shiva the purusha (male) and Shakti (female) the source of his emotional, intellectual and physical strength. These two together supplement rather than complement each other.

Joseph Campbell also observed this in one of his books – the reason why finding love is approached in different ways in the East and West. Wherein western mythology believes that the masculine and feminine were created by ‘God’ by dividing a whole into its two halves. They believe that the reason there is so much restlessness in man (and woman) is because they feel that they are one half of a perfect whole and will never find true happiness until they find their ‘other half’ and merge in blissful union.

Eastern mythology suggests that masculine and feminine are fully contained in the ‘whole’ and the ‘whole’ in fact multiplied into 2 complete wholes and one energy got more pronounced than the other in each. The reason, then, of union with another is not to find ‘completion’ in another, but simply resonance and recognition of the dormant energy in one’s own self.

The attraction with R for me is my proof of this process…where our masculine and feminine energy seemed to be amplified by their resonance and reflection in each other.

So, perhaps, I need to take that as the gift from this whole experience, and understand that the ‘reason’ that I’ve been searching for, for why all of this happened – again – was simply this:

To allow myself to affirm that what I was seeking without is already within me.

Monday, October 02, 2006

E.S.P (Ego & Spirit at Play)

Two realizations that I had yesterday seemed to have helped me make a shift from resistance into acceptance, from doubt to trust and from ambivalence to direction. But is that really true? Is the shift due to a realization or due to another balance in the game played out between ego and spirit? I don’t know but I really need to first state them and then acknowledge this aspect of me and my life.

Well, the first was that one has to strike an agreement between Ego and Spirit since one can’t have one without another, one can’t do without the other not in a human incarnation, and one needs to honor and respect the other. So, it is not critical to stay in complete Presence all the time – it is okay to have egoistic awareness and reactions and emotions and thoughts also. There is nothing wrong or unnatural about it. It is simply a question of choice and acceptance. Of whatever unfolds in the process, good or bad, egoistically or consciously. Ego does not necessarily always mean unconsciousness. Can I look at both of them and create a mutually acceptable environment where I can accept both aspects of these energies within me. Without chastising myself for focusing too much on one or the other?

So, the quality of happiness that I am hoping to have in this very moment has to, necessarily, include the ego and the agreement from it to play along. Otherwise, although consciousness may perhaps unfold, it will simply be a more painful process with several ugly reactions and rebuttals from the Ego in the evolution of consciousness. It cannot be denied, suppressed, ignored, rejected or destroyed. It has to be acknowledged, observed, included, enjoyed and supported. And only then will it be malleable and pliant enough to really, and freely, go with the flow. It is then that there will really be little or no dissipation of energy in playing the blame game.

Consciousness will achieve its objective of experiencing itself through me. It will rejoice and revel upon fully participating in every aspect of the Universe when I truly accept every moment and in that acceptance allow it to emerge in its full glory. And ego will also accept that this new role bestowed upon it. One of promoter and facilitator and enabler and creator. And it will realize then how much happier it really is when it focuses on every moment and chooses quality over quantity, optimism over negativity, trust over doubt and inclusiveness over elitism. In fact, it will realize how easy and fulfilling life is and how much more rich and colorful and joyous everything and everyone around it really has become.

So, that is the truce then – Consciousness allows certain concessions to Ego,which help enable and allow it to reach its full potential through the process of alchemy. And Ego in turn surrenders to the inevitable and expansiveness of Consciousness – for defining its very existence before, during and after.

And the other thing that I was going to talk about – that came to me when I was sitting outside Jumpin Java – reading. What matters to me – is what deeply disturbs and upsets me.
- my appearance, my social image, my intellect, my emotions, my spirit

And this is really the last aspect in evolution. Complete acceptance of both ego and consciousness and their role in my life. My life, that is much more than the contents in my life and the mind stream that tells me the story of my life.

My life can only happen in this moment. Even something that had happened 5 minutes ago – can only be recalled in memory Now. Anything that will happen 5 minutes from now can only be anticipated in thinking Now. All decisions, projections, reminisces, delusions happen in the Now and that is all I have to go on. In this moment only is there Life. And the moment will keep on changing and so will form and content…but the essence will never change.

What a screwed up system this is then. Of course it is, what can I do about this, though? Simply not indulge negative thoughts and fears. Because when I do, that is when I create unhappiness for myself in the Now. And the quality of my Now builds the quality of my future.