Friday, May 12, 2006

The choice is clear?

Living as expansive consciousness is, as Jon would say, the ultimate party. Where there is complete freedom to be who you are. Always and everywhere. The realization that You are That and That is all that there is gives one the supreme Self confidence – an ownership of the whole wide world, nay, the complete Universe and any other ‘verse’ and beyond. Along with this ownership come, hand in hand, genuine compassion for every physical being, and unconditional acceptance of the responsibility that one must undertake to live as Absolute Consciousness. Towards all forms of matter and energy – that are expressions of my own Self.

It’s obviously not for everyone and neither is one expected to undertake such a role unless the awakening is voluntary and from within. Consciousness waits, patiently, while ego driven human forms writhe and dance and agitate and procreate and evolve from one state to another, discarding sets of desires and fears upon each such quantum leap. The looking back at a previous state often bestows amusement and amazement for the evolving Ego, at how deluded it had been then to want that! That, which now from this relatively evolved place seems like such a trivial desire or ridiculous fear. Of course, the nature of Ego is such that for a long, long while it is happy to play this game, acquiring harder to fulfil desires and deeper entrenched fears in a more and more grandiose delusion of its ownership of Me.

And that is when, for those who are really listening for the call, Consciousness calls out from within. At first a gentle nudge, a vague voice in the heart, to re-evaluate its own nature. The voice allows Me to then question the relevance of each desire and the authenticity of each fear. Eventually, though, if the Mind stops to see its own folly in backing the wrong horse in the Ego, and places perhaps tentatively at first, its bet on Consciousness, the game takes a dramatic new turn.

Anything is possible now – there are no absolute guarantees. The contenders are, at first, evenly matched; one has the backing of habit, conditioning, human nature and preconditioning (vasanas). The other simply has truth on its side.

If the mind is controlled and objective it will see the futility of riding the never ending ferris wheel of satisfying ever increasing desires and fears that it are thrust upon it by the Ego. There is no way out for it if Ego wins. The mind has had glimpses of the possibilities of its role under the guidance of Consciousness. It recalls the freedom in the moments of complete immersion in the process – the feelings of Oneness and Flow. That amazing marathon, playing that perfect symphony, the wonder of witnessing a birth, the awed release in accepting death, a gorgeous autumn thunderstorm, snow falling on cedars. Even the hour long bliss while dancing on ecstasy or seeing Lucy in the sky with diamonds. In more evolved states, the mind itself is more aware of this happening; in meditation and contemplation and introspection.

And perhaps, one day, something happens. Something indelibly moves within Me to a state which is now beyond any previous ones and rarely catalogued or narrated by others. This is the state of the first full-blown glimpse of living as Consciousness. Which is so completely different from living as Ego that, for a while for the mind, it is, well, mind-blowing.

Because it finds no fear and feels no desires that it must focus upon. No lack and no judgment. No need to be something else. It experiences, fully for the first time, the presence of Consciousness. That which when floods it in its luminosity makes it see the truth of its own power and presence.

The state is not easy to stay in, and is, in fact also to be eventually transcended. When the mind simply dissolves into Consciousness. But that may not happen for some time.
Right now in my Mind’s eye I have two choices. Return to the familiar prison of living under Ego and its empire. Or, stay in this new realm of wondrous experiences of joy and bliss in this newly found kingdom of Consciousness.