Monday, July 03, 2006

Where did you go, What did you do, How did you ‘be'?

This feeling of deeper contentment is what I sit with at the end of this period of downtime. I look back in my journal (Feb 22: "Where will you go, what will you do, how will you be?") and read with mixed emotions the excitement and anxiety and wondrousness that I had felt in trying to capture the essence of that moment. That moment which would be the beginning of this journey when everything seemed alive and possible. I knew not how it would unfold but I was determined that several steps would be taken to make this journey an experience worth remembering and truly cherishing.

Well, have I succeeded in that? Rather than quantifying the experiences that I have had - and there have been several - I would rather focus on this overall feeling of inner stillness and energy and gratitude and peace and acceptance and spirit that I seemed to have tapped into. It fills me with a different form of excitement now…not of anticipation but one of kinetic dynamism. A spirit that is ready to take on anything and everything in life – within and without. I want to embody the cliché - be all that I can be - in every which way. I feel like I have become completely exposed to my own self now. That there are no crevices in my mind and heart that have not been examined and explained and accepted and addressed.

And with that process there has resulted complete acceptance of what is a deeper clarity of what needs to be enhanced, diminished, brought into focus or eliminated from attention to make this life and living the perfect experience that it really is. This experience though now being amplified because of the attention that I bring to every moment and aspect of it.

Will I take it on? I’ll keep you posted.