Friday, July 09, 2004

Calm



This process of identification with a thought and building a world of judgment, reaction and projection around it is what is the source of all fear. Fear then is the separation of Me feeling this Thought from the Thought itself. And as a result of my memories, I have emotions and associations with similar thoughts from the past. Remembering how I have felt in the past, I project those reactions into this moment, and now build a distance between the thought that I am thinking and the Me that is thinking this thought. This distance creates a relationship between The thought and the I thought and that is what leads to conflict. The I thought does not want to feel the feeling that The thought will bring with it and that is because of memory. This generates conflict and resistance and ultimately fear. Therefore, fear is the process of the I thought creating a separate identity for itself and then casting judgments and aspersions on every other thought that rises based solely on the memories from the past. As soon as this duality is generated there is fear and resistance.

So, the bottom line is to be able to not create this sense of duality and to embrace everyone and everything as simply occurrences in this eternal Now that are happening in conjunction with all the other thoughts and emotions that are rising in this Chitta. In fact, allowing all this to happen without building a strong resistive sense of the I that will block these thoughts from their natural ebb and flow in the Now. As long as one creates a mountain of resistance by the I identification, so long there will be friction, resistance, and a steady erosion of the Now. And as soon as the I thought is eliminated or leveled to the ground, everything will be free flowing and will be perceived and returned into the eternal Now.

But then that is the perfect scenario, the ultimate rising of Pure Consciousness. What about the rest of humanity who have lived through years and years of this time bound Universe as the I, building a strong sense of I and feeling this deeply urgent need to protect and serve it forever or till death do us part (Interesting, who is the Us in this situation, the I and the ???). So, for all of us, it is simply impossible to, one fine day, say “Okay, from now onwards I will not live in this Universe as an I but simply as Being without reactions and resistance and projections and conflicts”. Instead, I believe, a more practical scenario is to feel this I become less and less solid and more and more fluid….like a blade of grass merrily swinging with the lightest of breeze in any direction that it blows, with the least resistance, the most compliance and in complete joy. At that moment of perfect harmony is when the experience of Living is truly realized, without any filters of the I staining the canvas of the Universe that is simply trying to put it forth into the eternal Now as yet another karmic seed that needs to be processed.


Finally, then, while I can think this intellectually and sometimes experience this personally, I feel encouraged that one day I will indeed be able to feel this emotionally and live this spiritually as well, since the knowing will become so deep rooted and integral to Life that an I, separated from this sense of Universal Oneness will become incomprehensible and “unexperienceable”. Until then, however, there is always good weed…

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