Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Vast Unknown

This way of living where I am beyond my thoughts and emotions and body and flowing in and through these limited dimensions of perception and projection, and going beyond, can actually be quite trippy.

Because then I am consciousness itself. I let go of trying to understand everything. Through the mind, through thought, through sensory perceptions, through bodily responses and reactions. When everything is in flow and there is no word for it, either. When everything just is.

So static and passive! screams the mind. So listless and submissive! cries the body. So demeaning and derogatory! chides the ego. This is not the way that I can achieve success in anything. Not contemporary living nor spiritual seeking. Even the interconnectedness that you are feeling has to be explained! Somehow. The numbers must add up, the coincidences should prove the flow, the human conditioning through the centuries needs to be understood, science needs to verify and validate spirituality and religion must bless and promote it. That is the only way that you can really validate your “beingness”.

So, then, if I find it so absurd to experience everything to prove everything, why do I insist on doing it? Why do I feel that the only way to corroborate a theory is by executing it in practice? Or the only way to defend a practice is by building a theory around it?
I don’t know. And maybe that is the mantra. “I don’t know”. And it is okay to not know.

In this moment – am I alive? Yes
In this moment – am I aware of my thoughts? Yes
In this moment – do I have body awareness? Internal and external? Yes
In this moment – can I sense a flow of emotional energy? Yes
In this moment – do I feel a presence that is beyond this form? Yes
In this moment – do I need to understand any or all of this? ….No