Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Waiting To Unfold

What a year so far. Unending self discovery, frequent self sabotage and non stop, eventful living. If there’s one thing that I can say with full confidence about this life it’s that it is a dynamic, amazing, stimulating and challenging ride to somewhere.

Where, is yet to be determined but is that really important? Do I need an answer for every question and wait for the result of every action and resolution to every problem and effect for each cause?

Now? In this moment? Because that is a known impossibility – the answer unfolds when the question is asked with the right intention, the result is evident when the action reaches its total completion, the resolution appears when the problem is truly understood and the effect emerges when the cause dissolves.

So, if in this moment, I don’t have the answer or cannot see a result or am at a loss for a resolution or see a lack of effect it’s because it’s not ready to unfold for me. Not yet. To present an analogy from the recently ended criminal trial: The facts are still being gathered, the evidence presented, the statements being made from both counsels and the stipulations and admonishments from judge to jury continue. Eventually, though, the final arguments will have been made, jury instructions given and the jury will go into deliberation. And all one can do is wait until 12 members of a community, several coming from polar opposite points of views about this trial, will finally, eventually and often painfully, come to consensus and offer a unanimous decision – a verdict that is then the final answer, result, resolution or effect.

And this is the process that unfolds in the head and heart and soul with every aspect of every action, question, problem and cause. From places of complete dissociation and preconceptions and judgment, all aspects of my being stop plugging for their disjointed semi-truths and refocus energy on looking at life as a whole: an interconnected, interdependent and integral whole. And only then does one see the universal truth that was always out there, waiting to be recognized.

And that’s when I will have my answer. In this moment all I can do is allow the process to unfold.